…today, I got the train to work. Nothing unusual there. The preceeding day’s events had the out-of-the-ordinary comprehensively covered but still, I had a job to do. So onto the train.
A man approached me on the platform and engaged me in reluctant conversation. Wasn’t I worried? Surely I was scared? Well, yes. An unprovoked midday assault at the fists of a stranger not two weeks past had instilled in me a thorough fear of crowds, and exploding public transport hadn’t done wonders for the panic attacks I had recently started to experience. But still, I had a job to do.
So he followed me to my chosen carriage, chatting all the while. Halfheartedly I replied when absolutely necessary. I imagine you can guess his main topic of conversation. It had thoroughly overshadowed London’s triumphant [and allegedly erroneous] Olympic hosting win, with good reason. Still didn’t want to talk to a stranger. Especially one who followed up his lengthy, ignorant discourse with a request for my number and an invitation to dinner.
Smooooth. Let’s all use mass murder as a chat-up line. Terrorism has never been so sexy.
In an absolutely standard response to such approaches, I told him I wouldn’t give him my number. He could give me his, if he insisted, but I wouldn’t call. And would you believe it? He insisted.
Moron.
As you know, being an avid follower of everything about me, I live in Ipswich and I work in a bar.
Your latest Wrong reminded me of over-hearing a conversation. Well, I say conversation, it was actually a really cringeworthy attempt at chatting up a the new bar maid.
It wasn’t long after the Suffolk Strangler case had died down and the bar maid was from a student from Derby, so she was curious about the goings on of a town under serial killer siege. Mateyboy took it upon himself to be the hub of all serial killing knowledge (I like reading true crime books, but I wouldn’t use it as an opener to chat up a girl I’d just met) and even – at some bizarre attempt at trying to ‘big himself up’ – mentioned that he had been questioned by the police until his whereabouts had been confirmed. Smooth.
Needless to say, a long and fruitful relationship did not blossom.